As much as I've been digging in my heels and acting like a 2 year old about this Values Assessment Homework my therapist gave me last week, I need to at least get started on it. Sometimes that perfectionist gene is a good thing I guess....I don't want to go into my appointment today and tell her I didn't do any of it! LOL!! I *will* fess up and tell her I only was able to start this morning, and under duress, but I think she'll think that's fine. And I'm starting with the easy ones. So there.
Here's the instructions:
The following are areas of life that are valued by some people. Not everyone has
the same values, and this work sheet is not a test to see whether you have the “correct” values. Please describe your values as if no one will ever read this work sheet. As you work, think about each area in terms of the concrete goals you may have and in terms of more general life directions. For instance, you may value getting married as a concrete goal and being a loving spouse as a valued direction. The first example, getting married, is something that could be completed. The second example, being a loving spouse, does not have an end. You could always be more loving, no matter how loving you already were. Work through each of the life domains. Some of the domains overlap. You may have trouble keeping family separate from marriage/intimate relations. Do your best to keep them separate. Your therapist will provide assistance when you discuss this goals and values assessment. Clearly number each of the sections and keep them separate from one another. You may not have any valued goals in certain areas; you may skip those areas and discuss them directly with your therapist. It is also important that you write down what you would value if there were nothing in your way. We are not asking what you think you could realistically get, or what you or others think you deserve. We want to know what you care about, what you would want to work toward, in the best of all situations.
#3. Parenting: In this section describe the type of mother you want to be. Describe how you would treat your child if you were the ideal you in that relationship.
I want to be the type of mother who has a child completely and utterly aware of how much I love and support her. I want her to feel free to share any of her thoughts, feelings, fears, and dreams and know that I will respond with respect, joy and/or sympathy. I want to be the type of mother who is engaged. My goal is to raise her to be a fully empowered adult - able to strike out on her own and make her own decisions and to have trust in herself that she can do anything she chooses. My values in this domain are love, respect and support of my daughter.
#4. Friendships/social relations: In this section, write down what it means to you to be a good friend. If you were able to be the best friend possible, how would you behave toward your friends? Try to describe an ideal friendship.
Being a good friend means being able to be open and honest and trusting as well as being available as a source of support and encouragement for my friends. If I were to be the best friend possible, I would bring fun and love and light into their lives by picking them up when there were feeling down, celebrating with them when life gets exciting, by being a ear to listen when things get tough. There wouldn't be any fear of abandonment as it would be a two way exchange of love and support. An ideal friendship to me would be a relationship in which I'd know that no matter what happened my friend would have my back and that they would know the same was true. We'd have fun together, we'd feel relaxed around each other, we'd want to know even the silly little details about each other. My values in this domain are trust and support.
#5. Career/Employment: In this section, describe what type of work you would like to do. This can be very specific or very general. (Remember this is an ideal world.) After writing about the type of work you would like to do, write about why it appeals to you. Next discuss what kind of a worker you would like to be with respect to your employer and co-workers. What would you want your work relations to be like?
In an ideal world, I would make my living in the arts. Not necessarily just as a performer, but also as a mentor, a coach, a teacher, a planner, a marketer, a painter, a writer - basically, anything that allows creative freedom and no limits and restrictions. It appeals to me because I have an intense need for creative expression and that is the most satisfying to me through art. It makes my thoughts and emotions make sense. I would like to be a worker who encourages those around me, assumes they are capable and be able to trust that they will complete their portion of the work with the same effort and determination I put into my work. We don't need to be best friends, but I would like to feel valued and respected for the work I do. My values in this domain are respect and artistic/creative expression.
#6. Education/personal growth and development: If you would like to pursue an education, formally or informally, or to pursue some specialized training, write about that. Write about why this sort of training or education appeals to you.
I have thought many times about returning to school or getting more training. I like to learn new things. Right now, what I would love to do is take a painting class or another cake decorating class or a cooking class. Something creative and not linked to a job. Although it would also be interesting to take a computer repair class. Come to think of it, that's creative as well to me....being able to sleuth out what the problem is and trying to find the right repair. It uses the same parts of my brain. Education makes me feel like a more well rounded and interesting person. My values in this domain are learning new and creative things.
#7. Recreation/leisure: Discuss the type of recreational life you would like to have, including hobbies, sports, and leisure activities.
I'd like to have a recreational life which is more engaged and that doesn't involve hiding on my computer. I'd like to read more, craft more, get out and see more things and experience more things. I'd like to get out and get moving and doing things outside. I'd like to play more board games; maybe find a group of people to play board games with. I'd like to host/organize more social get togethers. My values in this domain are engaged and active.
#8. Spirituality: What we mean by spirituality is whatever that means to you. This may be as simple as communing with nature or as formal as participating in an organized religious group. Whatever spirituality means to you is fine. If this is an important area of your life, write about what you would want it to be.
I would like to be more specific and intentional with my church attendance and participation. I would like to spend more reflective time on thankfulness and serenity through my spiritual values outside of the church building and group mindset. I would want my spirituality to have a stronger spot in my life and schedule with more focus on volunteering and participating. My values in this domain are intention and serenity.
#9. Citizenship: For some people, participating in community affairs is an important part of life. If community-oriented activities are important to you, write about the direction you would like to take in these areas. Write about what appeals to you in this area.
Volunteering and supporting community causes is an important one for me. It's an amazing way to be reminded that there is a world outside of your home and your family as well as a reminder that there are other who face much harder struggles than your own. I've wanted to volunteer at the animal shelter, with various church supported causes or with causes personal to me for quite some time. It's a way to feel proactive and useful. My values in this domain are feeling part of something bigger than myself.