Smoke and mirrors.

Yeah, this isn't going to be about ACTUAL mirrors.  But that would probably be appropriate on any other entry.

I keep thinking about something Ms. Nutritionist and I chatted about today as sort of a follow up to Therapy yesterday.  Yesterday I had been talking about how I feel like I'm in a really familiar place in the "cycle".  The place where I've been before - succeeding at a new exercise plan, feeling by body change, etc.  And that the cycle then usually goes back around to me failing somehow and having to start all over again.

It was exciting because I felt like "Oh wow!  I've identified I'm in a cycle and this is the place where I get to pick my new direction."  And there were hand gestures illustrating my point even.  And I felt very good about that.  Like a good patient being proactive.

And then today happened.  And as I was sort of recounting my fabulousness to Ms. Nutritionist, I said this, "I feel like I'm in that same place in the cycle where I have been so many times before and that I have to keep really focused to make sure I don't cycle back in....that I make sure to veer off onto the new path that I'm choosing."

Which is really nice.

But.

I HAVEN'T been in this place in the cycle before.  Stupid ol' Edie.  I've never been HERE before.  Armed with tools and support to keep myself going on this path I want to be on.  I already got out of the cycle.  Edie is a sly little lady sometimes, huh?  Playing all these tricks on me to get me thinking I'm still at the mercy of this random cycle of behavior when really, the park closed and I'm off on another journey.

THAT was the big realization.  And this is why it's so important for me to keep my focus.  When I do, even better things come forward.