Sunday, November 13, 2011

I'm my inspiration.......

And yes, I totally just sang that in my head ala Peter Cetera/Chicago.

Finding my own inspiration is HARD.  I'm going to take a moment to whine here, so brace yourself.  Thankfully, the whining is unusual for me.  But I'm just feeling the twinges of melencholy and this is my line of defense.

I love inspiring other people.  It fills my proverbial tank.  It makes me happy when I can have ideas, complete actions which have lingering echoes and energize other folks.  I want to share the stuff that's making me so happy.

So, what happens when I'm not feelin' it?  That's sort of where I am today.  I spent yesterday coming off the high of finally finishing C25K.  (Oh yeah, biznatches.....THAT totally happened!!)  Bad back and neck.  Husband and kid off adventuring without me.  Missing an event I'd been looking forward to.  Just blah.

The blah lingers today.  I don't understand negative people.  I don't understand why negative people can't just keep their mouths shut and stew in their own negativity.  (Maybe they're thinking that about positive people like me!  LOL)  I will forever feel bad not being invited to things.  It's in my nature and my instinct is to decide it's because I'm unlikeable.  Which is TOTALLY not true and not something I believe when I'm in a normal state.  But BOY does Edie LOVE IT when she sees a group gathering which I'm not a part of.....LOVES IT.

So, it's named.  Now how to release.

I'm not sure.  Church is this morning.  I'm hoping to hear something inspiring there.  I have a run scheduled for today and it's gorgeous out.  I'm hoping to feel something inspiring there.  I guess the plan of attack is to stay open and ready to receive the inspiration the day brings.  And to not dwell on the feel "down" - which I also need to accept as part of normal life.

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